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I used to work in the sex industry in different parts of the country. These days, I’m a budding entrepreneur at Greater Victoria farmers’ markets. You might even be one of my regular customers, because I make a great product and it’s pretty popular.
People come to Peers Victoria in all kinds of different ways, but for me it was like I walked through exactly the right doorway at just the right moment in my life.
I’d been hearing that they had a small-business training program, but had missed the application date the first time around. So when a friend mentioned to me last year that another course was coming up, I made sure my name was on the list.
I hadn’t been to Peers before. I’d been to a lot of agencies before, across Canada. But none were like this one.
There’s no judgment here. You look in the eyes of the people who work here, and the judgment’s not there. I get involved in the programs and have people telling me I’m doing great, I’m smart. Honestly, nobody had ever supported me like that before, and I’m 44. It has totally changed my view on what I can and can’t do.
Julie Higginson led the Small Business Training Program, and she was great. Her first-hand experience with running a small business was so helpful. She met us at a place in the middle where we could learn from each other. She told us about all the times that she’d screwed up, and made it OK for us to screw up sometimes, too.
There were a lot of good things about the course. I’m using a lot of what we learned in my own small business now. We got a little money at the end of the course, and it’s been great to get a secure credit card, and to finally get my driver’s licence after so long with an N. That means I can finally volunteer at my daughter’s school.
But the thing that really changed my life this year was Peers getting me a criminal-record check. I’d been so scared for years of doing that. In my late teens and early 20s, I’d been busted for sex work and having pot, and the worry about that has hung over me ever since. But Peers got me a criminal record check and guess what? Clean! It was like a weight I’d had forever had lifted off me. I mean, I’d been living in total fear for more than 20 years.
I wish I could say more about my new business, because I’m loving it. Family and friends have been encouraging me for years. But the stigma of my past as a sex worker is way too big for me to be able to “come out” as the owner of my business. I don’t even want to say what my product is, just in case somebody figures it out.
I’m genuinely scared that some people would quit buying from me if they knew the kind of work I used to do, even though one has nothing to do with the other. Seriously, the stigma against people who have worked in the sex industry is huge.
But one thing I can tell you is that one of the greatest assets I have in my new work is my ADHD, even though everyone else seems to think it’s a disability. It’s actually a huge bonus for my business. ADHD is a super power. We are masters of multi-tasking.
I had a horrible, horrible life. My teachers used to tie me to my desk, put a toque over my head, to punish me for my ADHD behaviours. I had a home life of severe neglect. Peers has given me back confidence that I feel like I lost back in grade school.
I see my own daughter struggling now, heading into Grade 2. I think she has ADHD. She started out in kindergarten all confident, but by the end of Grade 1 she was way more quiet and withdrawn, worrying about what people think of her.
That’s one of my dreams for my new business, is to create something small, some live-work space, that I can do with my kids. I want my daughter to have the chance to exercise her super-power! If children could be helped to see ADHD not as a disability but as a super-ability, it would change everything.
But thinking about live-work space is down the line. First I need to build my client base, and make some changes to my web site. I’ve already got one client who’s putting in orders, and I’m working on getting more.
Julie would always say during our training, “You do what you can do.” So that’s what I’m doing.
